i feel like running around shooting people today. i did however have a good morning and been working fairly hard. not that it is a bad thing. i just feel like i need a holiday and a new life. maybe i should move to europe, no i would hate it there. not more than...ag let's just forget about this, i can see where it is going.

there is this guy, called dominique here today. he is from mauritus, nicy guy, but seems to love his work, i do not get along well with ppl like that. these days there are actually quite a few people i do not get along with. different types of people. it feels like i could classify them, like asset types. all people, just instances of different classes. predefined to do a selected few of various available irretating acts. i feel like i have lost my ability to spell properly. i have also lost a fair bit of control over balancing. i am unable to stand on one leg while tying my other shoe. i have always been able to do this without any problem what-so-ever.

i need something to stop me from thinking too much. something that can really get my thoughts off everything else. rock climbing used to do the trick, and maybe it still does, but i want something new, thought about gliding, even paragliding, but everything is so damn expensive.

i am starting to feel better again....normailizing....i have found myself to relax a lot when thinking about the trilogy in four parts, hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, it makes me feel like .... ag sh*t, i don't know like what......but it....ah! see that is what!! it keeps my attention focussed on stuff other than real life....that must be why it makes me feel so much better.

i was wondering .... the guy that "loves his job" that is here busy assisting with the integration between our software and theirs, maybe he does not love his job as much as he think....maybe he is just not on his home ground... lunch...will continue later

where was i....

oh..yes... i wanted to say, maybe he just feels like he should be putting on his work voice and look really motivated to avoid being spotted by anyone of us as a human being....a mortal developer that also would much rather be going home.

he left now.... just me and andre still here....jako quickly went home, the other two will probably show up anytime...i am hungry (again) and do not wish to work late tonight (again). i just wish they could tell us before hand that we would or wouldn't be working late.....

19:46... i am working late...obviously... would not be working tomorrow nite tho.... have safety evening at the flight school tomorrow evening.... another person to tell us to keep the pointy end of the aircraft forward

had a fun weekend, with joys and sadness. did my first bit of true air traffic controlling today, screwed up the second a/c's approach completely, the pilot made sure i knew it :) but still remained friendly. my "ordered" masks from mozambique came, i have to go fetch them this afternoon. hope i don't have to work late tonight, it actually sounds like i have to.... i am contemplating buying a new phone.... don't know wether it would be the right thing to do though. i have two or three old ones i can probably sell, it's not lik i am ever going to use them again. i even skipped lunch today, had nowhere to go and was not really hungry. we feasted on my bosses birthday cake, a nice lil tweety bird....with divine icing!!! now...let me see if i can get myself into sneaking out of this office, with a cool and calm, non alerting manner.... just a nice, ok, see oyu guys tomorrow, if you get stuck, phone me...... then the ball wuold be in my court as i can decide wether they would be able to rech me on my phone or not. i am still avidly following the adventures of Arthur Dent and his alien neighbour Ford Prefect, learning more from the hitchhikers guide everyday.... oh well...let me be off

lazy blogger i am

got some bad news today...and some good... i got 84% for my ProController ATC exam....was quite surprised...sad that i did not postpone it till today. if i wrote it this afternoon i probably would have gotten at least 90...does not really matter, the exam is done and i passed, it's all that counts. now i just need to get the hours logged. i took a brief look at the layout for the next commercial exam i need to write...that is after the i redid the first one.

tania went to mozambique, so now i can't even complain to her. *sigh*. i am still planning on going away the weekend. things might be different now though.

neways... i am so hungy i have actually staretd thinking of chewing off my tongue.... another weekend is here... another one of those dreaded weekends... i use to like weekends, and despise weekday, and now dislike both...don't know why, but i hate knowing that this weekend will just be the start to another more irritating week. i need more money.... i need less responsibility.... i need penelope cruz..... actually, i just need her, she will provide the money, the rest will come by itself...what am i saying...i think i am getting dillusional because of the lack of food. i realize that i am hungry mostly due to lazyness. i just drove past a million restaurants and take-away cafe's....still i keep on going till i am back at work....now i sit here with at least 30minutes of lunch left, and no food in my empty stomach. i hate myself for not feeding me.

it is a nice clear day again today, in thedistance i can see grand central airport, i can even see the hillbrow tower. this morning the vis at jhb international was less than 200meters, now i can see there from about 30km....

the 'other' boss just arrived here.... this is not good... i want to go home... go walk myself through the veld on the hill.... watch the sun go down.... drink some amarula on my klip. sounds like a fine idea... maybe just go lie in the veld.... i continued reading hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, and life is starting to make all the more sense these days.... no, wait, i should go out tonight....meet some friends at a club or sumtin.... i have not been out in quite a few weeks actually.... have to work on the last bit of my garden tomorrow.... everything is getting more and more expensive.... inflation... i got a raise today...hardly worth mentioning...but was told that we will get another one later the year, depending on some contracts or projects that should come down.... listening to the other guys it seems that this is the story every year.... if i do move from here the main reason would be salary... i get along with the people quite well.... well... most of the time, with most of the people....

i forgot to blog yesterday. almost forgot gain today. we had a power failure this morning, now it feels like i already had lunch and that the day should have passed already. it is only 11:30am

one of two things happened yesterday, either the bugs have been sorted out, or they just never stumbled onto one of them. i eventually went to go take photo's of the telkom tower, started building it saturday evening after spending most of the day with tania strolling about wonderboom airport. (who would do anything as long as she can postpone her studying). sunday i went to the opening of the new mueum at rand airport. got myself hooked on gliding. would cost me quite a bit though. i have tried paragliding before - don't think there is anything like it, but this seems even better, and costs more or less the same, cause you can actually rent the glider.

my garden is about 75% done, i have completed the "zen peace patch hell hole mud pit", it looks great, not as i expected, but will do for now. i still need a fair amount of pebbles and stuff. i have planted most of the plants, but cuold not get my cement ball in time. they said they will receive new stock this week. so by the weekend i will be able to get everything done. i have also organised with the electrician to get me some electricty from outside, it would save me the trouble of drilling a hole in the wall and all.

i was so depressed saturday night, or no, sunday night, ag i can't even remember, public holidays always screw up my time table. anyway, it was for no reason at all. probably just a song they played on depressed fm, for all those people in dire need to get their all so happy mood instantly removed from them. it worked. same with last nite, i got home after taking some old clothes and shoes to tania for exporting to mozambique. and there i was, at home, alone, listening to evenescance's i want to kill my immortal or die myself production, making dinner. with all but the kitchen light off. i ate supper in front of my fish tank. was nice, the fish did not say much, but i could see they understood that it was a time to be silent, and mourne all the things that have gone wrong in the last 30 years of my 24 years on earth and their 2 years....although them having a 3 second memory span did not see so much wrong with their lives as fish trapped in a tank as ornaments. shame. bliss through ignorance has never made so much sense.

penz was online this morning, unfortunately i was in a meeting. i wonder if she would be on again later today, hmmm....

do not have much work to do, but the boss will be comming around at 12 he said (perfect, just when i usually go on lunch), and i am sure he will solve my "nothing to do" problem instantaneously, like he always does....but that is his job again. on the other hand, i do have some stuff to do. not really in the mood to do it though...it's small little mindless things, those irritating bits of code that needs to be placed to make little microscopic things work.

i have discovered that a blog is not so much for other people as it is for oneself. i have started to read many peoples blogs in the last few weeks. lots of them quite interesting, but i do find myself to be more motivated to update my blog, than to actually read some one elses... i read this one, kept by a lady called anita, 26, living in CA. she has been at it for the last 3 years....blogging more frequent than most people....does her weekends on seperate entries. i would love to take the time to read thru all of it, but i do not think i will ever in my life be able to read so much. i hate reading.... it's like a compltete waste of time compared to watching a movie.... lots of people have told me that books go into much more detail...not the way i read it. as soon as the story line gets just a bit boring i skip a few pages. i am busy reading this one book "Wild at heart" by John Elderedge, great book, one i can really related to. I am now on page 100, and started about 5 months ago?!?!? - boss comming, will continue later

later - he never showed up, and i know he has a meeting at twelve, so i can continue blogging till after the meeting at least. well the few minutes spent working caused me to finish the bit that i did have to do.

neways. isn't it funny how little things in life can irritate the living crap out of you. like this morning some bloke faking to be the grand mr know it all with his silly jokes advertising his empty headedness pronounced a word wrong again, just cause it sounded better according to him. stuff like that makes me want to start shouting and never ever stop again until he falls down softly on the floor in a puddle of his own disgusting flesh.....

phew...

i feel better now. and realise that i have issues. i do not care....just get the damn word right!!!

this week went past at the speed of light. although, usually when this happens i struggle to get friday past. monday is a public holiday, although it sounds like i might be called in incase something goes wrong here. maybe if i switch my phone off. i finally finished operations transfer method today. was not really lus for that, but now it seems to be working fine. just a few touch-ups still needed. hmmm....

i reached my maximum transfer limit on my e-mail address yesterday. seems like that will mean it will be offline until the end of the month at least. i have now moved the two mailing lists i am subscribed at to my work mailing address. i never read that one though. now it seems like everything will bounce of my usual address....oh well....such is life...i am fairly sure this won't happen again next month, it happened last month, but in the other seven years not once.

just received yet another phone call from a recruitment agency....looking for axapta people....a nice salary increase would be great....but i do not want to spend every day developing in axapta...i would seriously go out of my mind. i have had quite a few phone calls recently....seems like the market has picked up for developers. who knows....i must admit, i love working here, but if i can find another offer, in pretoria, with a good salary, and they mention the word delphi and engirneering i would jump....salary would be the deciding factor though.

want to go take a few pics this afternoon of the telkom tower...i am very keen on doing this scenery project. all the help from aeroworx could actually make this quite a success....and in time i can do the whole city, or at least its major and significant structures. i also promised myself that i would service my bicycle and go cycling again, i have not done any cycling in the last 4 weeks!!!

i am planning a trip to cape town...short trip, just for a few days...thursday to a monday will work out best i gathered. but it is only a thought.

there is a small airshow at rand airport on sunday.....for the opening of the museum...i wanted to go this weekend anyway, now i am not so sure

and then thursday came all of a sudden. got some good news today. the demo is only on wednesday, so the big rush to get everything done before tomorrow has now left. this might however mean that i might have to come in and work during the weekend. i have decided that i will put the office second on my priority list this weekend, will do my best to fit it in, but if it can't it can't. i am just sick and tired of all the freaken problems and complicated code i am running into today...seems tho that the worst part is sorted out now.

eventually got time to wash my car yesterday, it is not clean, but looks much better than it did before i washed it. at home i still have a lot of issues and empty headed drones have not stopped issueing their empty promises. "Yes sir, we will come fix the cupboards on monday at 13:30" as if! tv reception is still shitty...something about the power tripping and them not knowing that i am actually a human being in need of electricity, and tv reception. notthat i do watch tv at all, but i do like survivor every now and then. i have decided to follow their lead and gave my sand dune till the weekend to live. my backyard would after this weekend, be the perfect place for a beach party....and i guess so would the house.

work sux today

i am actually in an all over bad mood....which would change if i learn that working overtime tonight would no longer be necessary. it's 11:00am now.....seems like the day just won't pass....i miss the beach....the trees....the lack of cellphone reception and need for a watch.

i have found a new road to work....a bit longer but keeps one out of the city....driving all the way next to a nature reserve and some old stands...feels like i am on holiday. funny how it comes to an abrupt end when you enter the gate at "Route 21, Coorporate drone factory and clone storage facility" the place where all the original casts for the suit, tie and briefcase drones are kept. they march out here each with their own serial number...trying to impress young girls without vision, and older men with money...selling anything from baby food to ideas that will make your company reach the top of it's industry. what is all this about? climbing the coorporate ladder by ass kissing and ass kicking. seems a lot like a septic tank, with the big chunks rising slowly to the top...to find?? - every single one of them would, not even in their own way, try and be better than the other. showing off their skills (and mostly lack of it) by using words they don't understand and therm they just overheard on some cnn interview about economics or a new piece of crappy buggy software released that does more than anyone would ever understand.

and then you get the even worse type....trying to prove themsleves after being a failure in every aspect of their childhood. they usually have one thing can do, and will make sure everyone knows exactly what that is, and they will also step on or break down anyone who fails to reach the success they have reached in rugby. a sport for men who likes touching each other and are afraid of sky diving, rock climbing or piano playing. what ever happens to those people, the thousands that does not oneday get the chance to be part of tht final 15....they just dissappear into the world....as if they never happened, and leave empty traces of people they promised the world and more....." one day.... i am going to make millions playing rugby for my HIV infected shit hole" - maybe i should stop myself before i say something that someone might take up the wrong way....if i have not yet done that.

breath in......


....breath out

i need a holiday. at least three weeks of nothingness. i am thinking of going to a kloof for a few weeks....camping hiking and climbing on my own....but it is usually just fun for the first few days.....adn then i get that feeling of wasting the little time i do have in life...like sleeping during the day.....how can anyone be fine with that?!?!?!? have they not heard about dying??.....growing old?.....after a while not being ably to go to the bathroom by themselves??? live your life while you can!!! striking mid-life crises on 20 made me realise that life is passing by faster than you think. get drunk. get high. whatever does it for you...just please don't sleep....

i am getting tired...need more sleep...and i am getting hungry....real hungry...i have this craving for McDonalds....those lovely crispy salty fries...dipped into those cute little ketchup pots...and the great tasting excuses for burgers....no pickle no onion...medium number five mcmeal, with a coke.....delicious...better than bad sex.... it is just so freaken far to drive...but well worth it....i need more money.....and i have learned that it hurts taking lunch this early in the morning. when you get back the day has not even passed the half-way mark yet.

hey wednessday arrived surprisingly fast. penny is weird. lots of work to do today, but my boss is sick at home, so i have absolutely no motivation to get anything done...my 2 ton sand was worked into the hell hole yesterday afternoon....1.5ton still left :( will use to get yard even....good idea

back in south africa and the blog has been out of date like most of my daily tasks. spent a few days in paradise-like mozambique, the country of hot clear ocean, sandy beaches, and a no worry life. my take on moz has changed a lot this weekend. i would no longer describe it as a country up in africa. or well, the city, town...no...village that i visited anyway. village being not much more than a tree, a bicycle and a few locals... you can fit a lifetime into less than a week or two there.....with nothing urgunt happening every hour, for the whole day, everyday, you have no feeling of the drone IT developer you are. no cellphone signal, no time. no have to do life. everything is so simplistic and you can get a loooong way with 10 bucks. closing your "business" to meet some people at a bar is not bad coorporate image, and seeing an unattended shop when the surf is good brings no "bad service" feeling, it simply means that today the pow will have to do, unless you are willing to eat a bit later

returning to work was like hitting a freight train of todo lists with rediculous deadlines. heard the bunch even spent some time here on saturday...sheesh, even with bad weather i would not be debating my situation. strange feelings came back the weekend. was fun though, lots of fun, most of the time. learned a lot about myself. worked till after 21:00 last night, when i actually started looking like the guy on my id photo. i do sometimes in a very sick masochistic way enjoy working late. i tend to get things done when i know sitting here is not compulsory. makes one feel like the way you do when you donate clothing to the homeless...like someone really likes you. oddly enough i seem to have lost the need for that feeling. at the moment it makes me happy to use the "card holders" entrance at work instead of the "visitors". makes you feel like you are part of something, or someone really important....this just reminds me about the really really sad life i am leading....but the things is.....one should learn to enjoy the small tings in life.

i seem to have convinced tania to go buy me the african art that i wanted. she is going back to moz next week, will send along my old shoes and clothing, in moz the one with the clothing is the negotiator, the one who bargains the price. lots of nice hand made wooden masks and material paintings. will send my list of "needful things" along.

you won't believe, but i actually got my sand this afternoon, delivered into my backyard on a 3 ton truck....i think i ordered waaaay too much, but will use the rest to get my lawn level....i want it level enough to double as the snooker table i never got.

oh what fun......tonight might yet again be a late night.....when will i ever get to my modelling ambition...i have received much encouragement and assistance. have organised a "scenic" flight to get more aerial shots of the significant structures. i have started redesigning but seems that i am going to be stuck with the project at work....no free time for this week.

a guy from the netherlands contacted me today, looking for someone to show him around south africa, take him to a few crags for climbing etc. i have volunteered for this as i like meeting foreigners and scaring the hell out of them between these bushes waiting to either rape and kill you, or mug and kill you....or hijack, rape, mug, and kill you..... no seriously, i need to get out myself anyways.....told him i will phone next week, seeing that this week has been chaos...and it will only get worse down the line....wait tomorrow might be better. next i also need to go and see the guy from aeroworx....he seems very keen on assisting with the pretoria vfr modelling.....i am thingking of getting into the cbd for this as well....will see how the first few things go.....i have obtained contact numbers for most of the places.....rooiwal power station, and the telkom tower is my biggest concerns, and will therefor be my first attempts.

the lady from the other blog never contacted me, she probably does not read her own blog...or check her comments anyway.

i have to get back to work....

ahem...ok, cleaned up this mornings ranting and raving about the office - let's rather not publish that here :)

i went to #depressed - and now i feel a lot better! - weekend is here - i just need to get thru 2day

today i am wearing trousers again....still haven't seperated my rockies from the continental piece of dried mud that got embedded onto the soles. it will be getting up to 30 degrees today, not too hot, so i guess i will make it through the day. this morning was a complete disaster....it actually started last night already, when i tried cleaning the kitchen. my suger "pot" was empty and i took a whole new suger pack from the cupboard (which requires me to climb on the kitchen table in order to reach the top section). i filled the pot and decided that it was too much effort getting it down from there, so i will try and catapult it back up there instead of getting on the table again. the catapult worked fine, but the landing was not so successfull.....i had to clean the kitchen table....microwave and even the stove plates. i hate cleaning sugar spills. then this morning arrived (too early - as usual). Got up and came to work at about 7am (first mistake) got phone call from secure lifestyle (previous rental agents) asking for my banking details....they want to refund my key deposit made 3 years ago when i moved into the place....done...a few minutes later she phones again..."sorry to bother you again mr du plooy....as i recall you did the inspection urself.....i have not yet received the completed inspection form from you..." oh sh*t...where the hell is that form??? "no problem...i will fax it to you right away!!" ...running off to the car i found it in the cubbyhole....great place to do all your filing. first attempt on faxing the 8 pages (continueos fax paper) failed with error message "PAPER JAM"...there was no freaking paper jam!?!?! oh well....as i am removing the "paper jam" i realise that i had forgotten to tick their 2.5 million little check boxes....check boxes ticked and form cut into 8 seperate pages, i boldly go the fax machine for my second attempt....this time a true paper jam....after a few minutes the fax went through...made my confirmation call - success....i have this slight feeling of pride in my heart...just like the true brain dead office drone would feel. Back at my desk i find the registration e-mail from discreet, with my registration code for gMax.....you can't use without registering....hmmm...that is weird...the code does not work...after another three attempts, i fall to piracy and try to find an illeagal way to solve the problem....it got me further, but still no use....all their support addresses return and undeliverable mail error.... even webmaster@discreetsupport.com ???? only human interface available is a support telephone number in the states, charged at $19.95 per call!!!!!! they will ofcourse be nuked now

2 days left....then the white sands, green vegetation and blue warm water of mozabique will calm me down - speaking of white sands, the pathetic excuse for a maggot never brought my hell holes white sand.....will make sure he is in blast radius of the discreet(c) nuke

ahh....just received an e-mail from "Jaco Smit" a nice guy on the flightsim-sa mailing list....he sent me his registration....it worked...nukes cancelled...now it's just mr sandboy

a weekend of pouring rain and soggy sticky mud is behind us now. eventually the sun attempts to part these freaking white imc creators. allows the normal happy outdoor type nothing. my zen mud pit really lived up to it's name this weekend, resoling my shoes so that they will now last forever. this afternoon the white sand will arrive, another endless struggle with my rusted through wheel barrow....it works like an hour glass, and only allows so much time from loading to unloading...makes one rush from heap to pit like a beheaded chicken...franticly looking for an explenation to it's predicament.

oh what fun....a new week has begun and all the little annoying things of living in the rat race is back and ready for attack....i once read a bumper sticker "either i am getting behind, or they are bringing in faster rats"... maybe it would be better just to get rid of the rats all together. the postive side to this monday: this will just be a 3 day week.....day after tomorrow the weekend starts with a nice trip to mozambique....getting back to my african roots. sleeping in grass shacks.. living off nature.... i think i am in for a huge surprise...

the big challenge for this week: try to seem busy enough to either avoid more work, or avoid all work, both more and current all along. the all so true theory that used to be working perfectly at my previous place of forced labour - walking around with some papers in your hand and a determined look on your face - does not seem to work here. i am busy refining a new strategy. looking busy, busy enough not to be interrupted, without moving a finger. i have found that the best way to do this is either flying flightsim, or blogging. keeps you looking at the pc screen, and everyone can hear you typing...brilliant

this morning at work we were speaking about dreams.....the awake dreams....it made me think....was nice thinking for a while

woke up at 4:40am tihs morning...went to rand to go watch the third landing attempt of lebombo...saa's oldest 747. the landing was great...spectacular and brought a tear to many eyes...no crash was involved though...but some dust blowing off from the reverse thrust and wheels not fitting on the runway made for a good effect. i obviously only arrived at work just after 10....man....it seriously felt like a saturday today.....back still aches.....left nostral clogged today...something is out of sync.

afternoon meeting...then company braai...it's raining...can't get myself to work...had kentucky chips for lunch...lots of perry perry seasoning.....nice....did not even taste the chips! i have always thought of meetings as a practical alternative to work....but this one i would really rather stay here and "work"....like i am at the moment......i am sure that i am actually this really lazy loser, trapped in this great body....hahaha....that will make me sleep well!!

at last...friday is here....lot'o'stuff to do this weekend....fill my mudhole so that it would get changed into the peacefull zen pit it is supposed to be...oh...i thought of planting a palm tree inside the pit (no need to dig another hole and less sand needed)....not that i will get to any of that with the rain pouring like it is now...everything at home will just be mud, cement, or soggy swamplands

there is this guy welding outside...in the rain...hahahaha...i have been watching him the whole morning from my office window....in the hope to see a bit of action....none has happened thus far....*sigh*

sometime yesterday afternoon my clogged up nostrals switched....without me ever even noticing...this morning it is back on the right side...i will pay special attention to my nose during the early afternoon hours...it must be detectable.

i came home yesterday...all phsyched up to continue digging my hell hole...to my surprise i found that 2 natives had completed the digging for me....nice....although i now had to spend half an hour chucking back rocks and soil because they never knew when to stop digging, i am still very pleased. as they say, if you think life is full of surprises, wait till you die. the abrupt end of my life long digging for freedom project allowed me some time so sow the fertelizing seeds of life. i watered the lawn...which will at this stage be better described as grass. cleaned my garage. went for a walk. an afternoon of perfect zen

lately...for the last week or so... i have started to get this urge to try and climb over the fence at the national intellegence agency.... i need some excitement.... urgently... i realized that when i came back after lunch yesterday, and got an adreneline rush when i saw that i got disconnected from the flightsim network for sandbagging....i have logged 22h38 minutes now.....another few hours to go, and then i have to write the exam.... all of a sudden i feel so useless...so sad...

still busy with that laptop....had it scanned for virusses just now...actually...i am not still busy with it...i just started....yesterday i only got as far as switching it on...

closed my window before i went to bed last nite....woke up in a cocoon of water vapor...felt like i was still dreaming... did not help my throat at all....*sigh*...another surprise....it was thursday not wednessday......another idea for excitement in my life....wonder what the airport people would do ifg they find a chainsaw in my hand luggage....

good looking chick at the building site across the road did not show up this morning...hmmm...could this be the first sign of a terrible day? have meeting tommorrow at 15:30 (???) who schedules a meeting for a friday afternoon after work??? there will be the usual braai afterwards...no...not a good thing... it is one of those braai's where no one really has anything in common except work... but no one will admit it, and every conversation turns to the topic.... "so...nice weather wev'e been having" "yeah...our tracking system will function nicely in this clear weather" "definitely...i have coded a new ....... blah blah blah wessel blah blah delphi blah blah good bye - i have to go" i have a serious concentration problem when it comes to stuff i am not intrested in.... like work. i lose interest in anything as soon as i get paid to do it...but then...i won't do anything if i do not get paid...i should just be left alone....yes....yes....

i am thinking of creating a list of things to do to get the time past...get the day by....another surprise...i saw this morning....convinced the others to keep quiet about it...our development software license is expiring tommorrow....good thing...will at least ensure a day off monday...maybe even tommorrow...will have to keep this under the hat....no time for management to contact m$ and extend our license - till it is too late...and a day or two has been lost

ahh....seems like i was not disconnected for sanbagging yesterday....the hours were logged

lebombo seems to be scheduled for a third attempt at landing at rand tommorrow....i really wanted to go...but that will mean waking up at 4:40am again...not a chance!!

i am declaring today the worst day of the week...tired....sleepy...voice not doing too well.....agitated...back pain...and i don't feel too well overall either...just remembered i have to back - format - install xp on this old laptop next to....64mb ram...pentium ii -200MHz....this might just be a life project. backing up...i hate doing that...especially if it's not my pc....the guy said i can remove everything on drive c, he copied all the things he wants to keep onto drive d....well...go figure...there is a program files folder...windows folder.. and a bunch of other apps on the d drive....sure...i will just zip it...6.4GB will probably then fit onto that 640mb cd you gave me?!?!?!?!

great news....the bug list has been reduced to less than 2 pages...nice...now only the really hard ones remain.

i must remember to go buy a garden hose in lunch...nice special on hoses at makro.... R65.00 for 20m and you also get a bunch of nice fittings and stuff along... lunch...hmmmmm....

i am getting hungry...really hungry....maybe i should go now....

the pain...shooting to the left side of my body....feel like i have been hit by a freight train somewhere in germany....i am not used to digging.... freaking peace garden my ass!! hell hole is more like it. i have woken up every morning with a sore throat...last nite i closed my bedroom window...was about 3am already...pointless exercise at that time of the morning...didn't help...will see tomorrow maybe. my nose is all clogged up today as well....actually only the right side...me being left-handed isn't really bothered by that, as i have always thought my left nostral to be the stronger dominant one. traffic was hell this morning...for the first time in 5 years i had a traffic problem driving to work...freakin catterpillar and truck infront of me on a road as narrow as a school headmaster's mind. when i eventually did get chance to pass both of them, the damn traffic light infront of me got stuck on red....not to both sides, red for me, green for the rest of the working colony...and as life will have it...no one of them would notice that they did not have to stop for the last hour!!! so eventually i decided to just skip the light and forget about things in the past.....stuff left behind...like the guy blowing his horn and throwing signs in my rear view mirror....poor bastard....probably the only thing he'll ever get blown....and still...he needs to do it himself....hmmm...maybe i should put myself in his perspective....lonely miserable mid-life crises victim...realised at the age of 47 that he did indeed not marry the right woman....is in the wrong line of work....and is only superiorly attractive to a garbage pile in a dark alley next to lefty's bar in new york....yo cabby...

what will life throw at me today...seems like the worst part is over. that little bugger that was supposed to meet me at my house to come do eveything that has not been done ignored me like a painted mini circle yesterday. i was standing in the kitchen (recoevering health units from digging my hole) looking straight at him....he was supposed to meet me at 4pm.....still waiting....tick tock tick tock.....

alright....let me go get a cup of nice "top van die tippie" rooibos tea....it will burn my throat enough for me to focus on something else....i also need sugar...lots of it...the craving already started last night..... i swallowed a bunch of pills this morning but it seems like there aren't any difference to the way i feel today....i don't really think any pills really work....all just placebo's...one might as well have 1 green smartie in the morning and purple just before you go to bed...whatever they make you believe will cure you...oh yes...the tea.....

things are starting to look up....the great switch just happened...am to pm...i prefer the 24hour clock on my task bar...but i think the 12 hour am/pm one could be much more inspiring. throat still feels like he wants me to be sick..shame...maybe i should just let it go and stop with all these multi-vitamins....i think we both need a sick leave break. all downhill from here....can start lunch anytime now....stretch the hour to an hour and a half and then just few more minutes till the end of the day. "The end is near" has never seemed more inspiring....wait...it has

I do think that it's not work that you need to get through, just time...

this guy that i work for...he loves working...his job is his life...the more work he can do the happier he gets.....i think they should have places for people like him.

i am thinking into buying a catterpillar to drive to work with....would look nice in the parking lot....although...the people here are so in love with their jobs they won't even notice. cept for jako maybe....a lost soul in his own miserable world...talking about accelerating the earth through the sun to create the largest nuclear explosion ever..... with all due respect, i can only imagine God's face when jako walks into heaven after he succeeded. his other plans include building seven towers for all the filth of the world to live in.....making everything legal in the towers and then selling tickets for tourist to go visit.....somewhere next to a nice rich suburb...laundry hanging from grey balconies...spay paint all over.... then we have our receptionest..sitting and the bottom by the front door waiting for the perfect man to come take her away on his white.....ford escourt 1400 turbo....with a MP license plate. we all aspire to something? sometimes i think i am the only sane person here...well....my sanity told me that i can now go on lunch...they are letting me out to go get something to eat...not cause they are nice, but cause i am less productive when hungry

project manager just scrolled over with his screetching chair...and peeked into my cubicle...just letting me know which of the bugs in my code has priority to get fixed. people should learn to stay out of my cubicle....it is the only portion of land that i do own...my domain...where i can sit and earn my piece of survival metal that everyone always call "not everything" - yeah right money is not everything - but without it you have nothing... which made me realize....why work at all then?

back to the house: still no TV reception and tonight survivor is on *sigh* will my misery ever end. it is only 10:36am...another few thousand seconds to go before i can take lunch... and now this... the dreaded bug list...heading: "Outstanding Errors" - seems to me i did a great job on the errors...an "outstanding" job - little do they know

just checked on my flightsim flight...almost there....have not get banned for sandbagging this whole week! Reached the rank of first flight officer on wednesday...

nice - home alone this afternoon - a time of zen....peace....tranquility...spent digging further on my freakin mud hole - that hole will give me peace when it is done, and i know why. rather....i will let it give me peace now and rent a boy from the streets...luckily in sa we have lots and lots of them....hmmm...wonder if there is money in exporting business....?

ahhh....tuesday arrives!! - hmmm.....just started the day an hour ago or so.....took off from fajs, en route to fimp (Mauritius International)... I also downloaded Hider.EXE....hehe....no more quick disconnects necessary when the boss walks in...great stuff. Yesterday I got my lawn, and started digging my "peace garden"...still don't know what it should be called....neways, after i removed the section of lawn i found a mud hole....not so peacefull, i decided to leave until this afternoon....let it bake in the sun a bit.....got half of the front door handle.....yippee....now i can lock myself out!! .... could not get into the garage last nite.....they had the drain opened up and left it like that for the nite.....

i had a slight headache which led me to realizing that I was not too far off this morning with my feeling that I might not be able to get any work done today. I have indeed done nothing productive. Oh wait...maybe i have...i e-mailed the flightsim-sa list asking why i am not able to connect to ivan, and ian informed me that the maintenance done on ivan was indeed like everything else a major screw-up.....but he seemed confident that we might be able to connect after today....we'll ma see

the hollow tile on my stoep is getting fixed now....i was a phoned a few minutes ago asking which tile it was that was loose....hope they also fix the door handle, cuppoards, plant the grass....oh well....wait...another phone call from them....ring ring.....


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oh...just confirming what they have done, and informing that all won't be done....ag, this is sa and i was not expecting much more!

have to go get passport photo's taken this afternoon.....where for art thou time?

can't seem to get myself to work today.... aching back....throat does not feel to well, and i want to get home and get the rest of the stuff sorted as well as the little "garden" that is at the moment more like a mosh pit

Hmmm....this seems nice....thanx alex...like the wall coverings...nice...

Finished moving this weekend (Eventually) - Spend Friday nite without electricity, and only got hot water sunday afternoon....nothing like a few good cold showers to get one going. Everything seems to be in order now....cept for the admin stuff....change of addresses with medical aid...bank..etc.....

Lost all mail that i got since friday...reach my "transfer limit" with softhome.net.....no errors, no warnings...they just delete the mail. Oh well..could have been worse.....no mail - thus no resolution to my "Can't connect to flightsim" problem...tried again just now...still nothing :(